On June 5, 2023, my sister in law Amanda, experienced the preterm delivery and loss of a healthy baby boy named John Aydin. The loss felt incomprehensible and impossible.
The depths and nuances of postpartum recovery can come as a shock to first time moms, and I was deeply dismayed to learn Amanda was given very little guidance about her physical recovery upon leaving the hospital. The more I learned the more infuriated I became at the reality that a grieving mother could leave the hospital largely in the dark about what would be happening to her body as she recovered in the days and weeks to come.
I didn’t know where to turn and found myself reaching out to friends for support. My friend Lauren pointed me in the direction of Embodying Wholeness After Loss, an organization started by sisters Nicole and Kendra who provide “trauma-informed postpartum body restoration, yoga, and healing for mothers and their partners who have experienced stillbirth or infant loss.”
I had a call with Nicole and I’ll never forget what she told me. She said once you see the disparity in postpartum care for women who experience stillbirth or infant loss you could never unsee it. She told me that though it felt hopeless we had to each be a link in a chain to bridge the gap that exists in the United States healthcare system for women recovering postpartum, especially those who experience loss.
I didn’t know it at the time, but this conversation would plant the seeds for what would become Baskets of Healing.
My brother Tim was the next person instrumental in this journey. In the very early stages of this project I would call Tim day after day and ramble on and on about my anger, sadness, and calling to do something about it. He was a calm and loving sounding board, a non-judgemental support, and he helped the vision blossom into what this organization is becoming.
Once I had a clearer idea of what we would be doing, I shared the idea for Baskets of Healing with Amanda. I let her know she could be part of it or not, and that her involvement was completely up to her. To my amazement, Amanda dove head first into helping with the mission. Her decision to be a major part of this project amidst her grief will forever leave me in awe. I consider her open heartedness heroic.
And now here we are, about seven months after the loss of John Aydin. We donated our first basket in his name, and now have found homes for ten additional baskets. It boggles my mind that from the darkest moment something hopeful could be born.
And to sweet baby John Aydin, this is all for you. Your life on this earth may have been short, but your legacy will live on. It is because of you that we can offer a glimmer of light to women in the days following loss, letting them know that there is indeed a path ahead that has been forged by so many women before them. We offer a Basket of Healing to let them know- you are not alone.
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